Christmas Cartoons

Here are some Christmas funnies you may have seen, but I wanted to share anyway. Mostly because I thought they were cute, but secondly because I am super busy and this is an easy way for me to post something today.

GOOD ADVICE FROM KIDS

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. Patrick, age 10
2. When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?', don't answer him. David, 7
3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. Michael, 14
4. Stay away from prunes.Randy, 9
5. Don't squat with your spurs on.Noronha, 13
6. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. Emily, 10
7. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. Taylia, 11
8. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. Traci, 14
9. Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers. Mitchell, 12
10. Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic tac. Andrew, 9
11. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. Kyoyo, 9
12. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Armir, 9
13. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. Kellie, 11
(I had to make mention here, that apparently no one ever mentioned this (no.13) to Singaporean's)
14. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. Naomi, 15
15. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. Lauren, 9
16. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. Joel,10
17. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. Alyesha, 13
18. Never try to baptize a cat. Eileen, 8

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

Airline Messages

Since Christmas is travel season for some people I thought I would post these funny messages. Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

1. From a Southwest Airlines employee...."There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."


2. Pilot-"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."


3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.


4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."


6. From a Southwest Airlines employee...."Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in
public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden lossof cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with
two small children, decide now which one you love more.


7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."


9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."


10. "Last one off the plane must clean it."


11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry...Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!


12. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day, during the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened
while the captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!"


13. Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."


14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no, ma’am,"little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"


15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant came on with, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.


16. Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: "We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways."

Fun at Wal-Mart

Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis Walmarts, how can I help you?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Walmart Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

Thank you Scott for supplying me with today's post content!

Things I thought I would never do

I never thought I would pay $15 for two small bags of Hershey Kisses but I did last week. I needed candy for our Advent Calender.



I never thought I would wear white pants in December but I did Friday night. We had our company Christmas party and I wore white pants....yep after Labor Day...I know! Because it is perpetually summer here you just don't follow those same codes for when to stop and start wearing white like we do back home.



I never thought I would eat at Subway one or two times a week but we do. We go to Subway at least once, usually twice a week, for lunch. There are more places to eat here in Singapore than you could ever imagine, but a majority of the places are Hawker centers and I just can't bring myself to eat there all the time. The food is ok, it's just that is rarely hot and I keep thinking of Marvin Zindler and food being kept "off temperature".

My New Names

Swiped From Laurie


MY REAL NAME: Shelli

MY DETECTIVE NAME: (my favorite color and my favorite animal)

Cobalt Otter

MY SOAP OPERA NAME: (my middle name and a street I lived on)

Renae Gorham

MY STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of my last name first 2 letters of my first name)

Weish

MY SUPERHERO NAME: (my second favorite color and my favorite drink)

Red Margarita

MY WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (my parents' middle names)

Lynn Lou

MY GOTH NAME: (the color black and the name of one of my pets)

Black Molly

MY PORN NAME: (the name of one of my pets and either my mother's maiden name or a street I lived on)

Sugar Tobacco

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thank you Scott for a new way to fix my Thanksgiving dinner!

Your dinner will be the talk of the TOWN!! You should try this! Sure to bring smiles from your guests!

Here is a new way to prepare your Thanksgiving Turkey:

1. Cut out aluminum foil in desired shapes.
2. Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully. (see attached picture for details)
3. Roast according to your own recipe and serve.
4. Watch your guests' faces...

Still in Shock

Ok, I have to admit that I am still in shock over the Recycled Used Condoms in my last post! No big plans for the weekend other than we will be finalizing our plans for our trip to the Maldives.

Recycle Your Used Condoms!

I know you stay awake at night worrying about our ever filling landfils and how you can help the situation. Well here is a way you can help!

China: Used condoms recycled as hair ties used condoms are being recycled into hair bands and hair ties in southern China, threatening to spread sexually-transmittable diseases they were originally meant to prevent, state media reported yesterday. In the latest example of potentially harmful Chinese-made products, rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in Dongguan and Guangzhou cities in southern Guangdong province, the China daily newspaper said. “These cheap and colourful rubber bands and hair ties sell well ... threatening the health of local people,” it said. Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses, it said. “People could be infected with Aids, (genital) warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while weaving their hair into plaits or buns,” the daily quoted a local dermatologist as saying. A bag of 10 of the recycled bands sells for just 25 fen (4 cents), much cheaper than others on the market, accounting for
their popularity, the newspaper said. A government official was quoted as saying that recycling condoms was illegal. China’s manufacturing industry has been tarnished this year by a string of scandals involving shoddy or dangerous goods made for domestic and foreign markets. It has launched a public relations blitz aimed at playing up efforts to strengthen monitoring systems. — AFP (As published in the 14 November issue of Today)

Now I bet this raises a whole new set of questions: 1) Do they have collection bins? 2) Can people pick them up and turn them in for cash, like aluminum cans? 3) Who gets to wash them? 4) Are they washed? 5) Where do they get them?

Lowe's refuses to call them Christmas Trees

The following is an exert from an email I received from American Family Association:

In their Holiday 2007 catalog, containing 56 pages of Christmas gifts, Lowe's advertises hundreds of gift items, including scores of "Family trees." In fact, the word "Christmas" only appears two times in the entire holiday catalog. The ads mentioning "Christmas cover only 12 square inches of the 5236 square inches available.
Lowe's even has one of their Family trees turned upside down on a stand. We are not sure what the significance of that is.
Lowe's evidently did not want to offend any non-Christians, therefore they replaced "Christmas tree" with "Family tree." Of course, if Christians are offended that is evidently ok.
An on-line search of Lowe's does reference some "Christmas" items. In fact, a word search of their Web site gives the exact same number 174 of the word "Christmas" as it does the word "holiday." Most of the items mentioning Christmas appear to use the promotional line given by the manufacturer.
Their Holiday 2007 catalog features scores of products, including lights, wreaths, trees, and yard decorations. Most people would associate these items with Christmas, but not Lowe's! Except for two obscure references, they refer to everything in their catalog as "holiday."

Click here to see the front cover of the catalog and a page featuring their "Family trees." catalog ad.

Take Action:
Send the e-mail to Lowe's. Ask them why they refer to their Christmas trees as "Family trees."
Forward this to your friends and family and ask them to send the e-mail.

I guess making sure that the rights of Christians are upheld along with all the other religious groups is something I feel strongly about.

17 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
16. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
17. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."




Take a beer and send the truck to all of your
friends!!!!!!


^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\
B u d w e i s e r _ '""""\___,
__.. _____ _l _ l
([""(@)'(@)"""""""""""""""""**(@)(@)**

You Never Know

what you might see at a Singapore Slingers game. Take a look at one of the box sponsors:
Yep, it says: RateMyTurban.com

Yankee or Dixie?

Go take the Quiz. Be sure to come back and let me know how you did. I was 94% Dixie. It asked me, "Is General Lee your father?"

Oktoberfest 2007

Singapore probably isn't the first place you think of when you think of Oktoberfest, is it? Wasn't mine either but when I saw tickets for sale for this years Erdinger Beer Oktoberfest I thought, hey...what the heck. So, last weekend that's where Rob and I went. There was a ton of people there and I was really surprised at the number of Asians there. It looked like everyone was having a great time. The beer girls don't quite look like the stereotypical Bavarian beer girls, it was quite humorous to me. And after the food was gone and everyone had consumed a few beers it was no longer suitable to stand on the floor, nope, you had to stand on the tables. Rob and I were asking each other what we thought the "SWL" (safe working load - for the non-engineers out there) was for the tables. We did buy a couple of nice ceramic beer mugs. We passed on the huge beer glass, but was considering it for Blair to dunk her ring in - again! We would have liked to have purchased a couple of T-shirts but they weren't selling any. Someone goofed there, that would have been a money maker. Bet they would have sold better than the funny looking felt hats that made you look like a cone-head.

Here is a good reason...

...why you don't want your kids to go to t.u.! What's wrong with this picture? Check this guy out. I hope you can see the picture clear enough to tell he has on his burnt orange. BUT...did you notice his signs? If you read them like you see them they read, "Fence - D" and not "D - Fence". What a dork! We see this guy at all the Singapore Slinger games and at every game he holds up his signs the same way. Rob and Avery had seen him in all his burnt orange glory at a game when I was gone so we were waiting for him to have on his colors again so we could take a picture. Unfortunately, Rob didn't have his nice camera with a zoom lens at yesterday's game. I just hope this doesn't give a bad impression of the rest of us Texans (i.e. those of us from the state of Texas, not those that are fans, students, former students, etc. of t.u.)

B.T.W....the Slingers Won!!! They ended winning in overtime! It was a good game.

Test post from iphone

Trying to mobile blog while waiting on avery.

Sent from my iPhone

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Who Doesn't Love 1977

Thank you Barbara for supplying me with subject matter for today's blog post. It has been a while since I've updated this thing! Sorry about that. Anyway...Barbara sent me this email with all the great pictures from the 1977 JC Penney catalog. I wanted to post them all, but here are a few of my favorites:

I think I've found my next dining room set which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels.

I think my brother had this same outfit! The email read: How to get your ass kicked in elementary school! Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place.. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

The email read: How to get your ass kicked on the golf course! This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.

The email read: Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?

The rest were all hillarious! Maybe tomorrow I'll post some more.

More Work Humor...

Dear Staff,
In an effort to maximize productivity in our department I will be implementing a tool used in many industries. You will be tracking your time working on certain activities and sending me a time sheet weekly showing me how your time has been spent. Attached below is a sheet specifying a job code list based on some observations of employee activities. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let me know about any difficulties you encounter.
Thank you. Your boss.

Code
Number Explanation
------ -----------
5316 - Useless Meeting
5317 - Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 - Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in a Meeting
5319 - Waiting for Break
5320 - Waiting for Lunch
5321 - Waiting for End of Day
5322 - Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 - Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
5393 - Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5394 - Blaming Incompetence of Coworker Who is Not a Friend
5400 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 - Buying Snack
5482 - Eating Snack
5500 - Filling Out Timesheet
5501 - Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 - Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 - Scratching Yourself
5504 - Sleeping
5510 - Feeling Bored
5600 - Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 - Complaining About Low Pay
5602 - Complaining About Long Hours
5603 - Complaining About Coworker (See Codes 5322 & 5323)
5604 - Complaining About Boss
5605 - Complaining About Personal Problems
5640 - Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 - Not Actually Present At Job
5702 - Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
6102 - Ordering Out
6103 - Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 - Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 - Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 - Stealing Company Goods
6202 - Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Files
6203 - Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204 - Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 - Hiding from Boss
6206 - Gossip
6207 - Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 - Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6211 - Updating Resume
6212 - Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
6213 - Out of Office on Interview
6221 - Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 - Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 - Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 - Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
6238 - Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350 - Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601 - Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code 6603)
6602 - Complaining
6603 - Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 - Staring Into Space
6612 - Staring At Computer Screen
6615 - Transcendental Meditation
7281 - Extended Visit to the Bathroom (over 10 minutes)
7400 - Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401 - Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402 - Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403 - Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404 - Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405 - Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406 - Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419 - Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professionals on Phone
7931 - Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000 - Recreational Drug Use
8001 - Non-recreational Drug Use
8002 - Liquid Lunch
8101 - Surfing Vacation Sites on the Internet
8102 - Surfing Porn Sites on the Internet
8103 - Surfing Humor Sites on the Internet
8200 - Reading e-mail
8201 - Distributing humorous e-mails

Found it!

We were walking around Tanglin Mall the other day. (Acutally, that is a whole 'nuther story that I will share with you tomorrow.) Anyway, we pasted a DIY store and Rob noticed they had trash cans. You may remember me mentioning the fact that we have been without a trash can in our kitchen for quite a while now. Guess how much we had to pay for this baby? $139 Singapore Dollars!! Back home we never would have paid that much for a trash can! We wouldn't have to. We could always run to Wal-Mart or Target and probably have a huge selection to choose from. But being over here has trained us so that now when we see something you need/want, you better get it right then. If you wait you will never find it again. Just for grins I did a quick search online. I think found the same trash can on Amazon.com for $99 (not sure if that includes shipping). I'm almost positive it's the same size, it is the same brand. So actually we paid about $93 in USD, total. Now I don't feel too bad.

Trip To Texas

Sorry for being AWOL lately. I took a surprise trip back to Texas for about 10 days. Blair was getting her Aggie Ring and I wanted to surprise her, I think it worked! Here is a picture of her anwering the door when she thought it was my mom there to see her. Since she thought none of us (Rob, myself or Avery) could be there, that my mom and her Uncle Scotty (my brother) were coming to be there when she got her ring. Once she opened the door and saw me there (thanks mom for catching the moment!) the tears started flowing - from both of us. We had such a great time that day! My Aunt also surprised her by being there. She (my aunt)graduated from Texas A&M quite some time ago. Some of you may be saying, "what's the big deal about getting your class ring in college?" Well, Texas A&M is steeped in tradion. That ring is a symbol that is recognized by Aggies all over the world. No matter where she travels, anytime she finds another Aggie, she will have an instant friend. Another tradition is for Aggies to "dunk" their ring in a pitcher of beer over at the Dixie Chicken at Northgate. We did that too! Well, sort of! The rest of my trip home was spent visiting family and friends. It was nice and relaxing. I just loved getting in my little pick-up and dring the country roads between College Station, Huntsville, Midway and the Woodlands. I even made a quick trip into Houston and ran by my office there and visited with my coworkers. I got my fill of Mexican Food too! Not sure when I'll get back there, but it won't be soon enough for me!

How Disgusting!

I don't think I've shared this little chunk of information with you out there in blog world. This story was told to me by my husband, it is all 100% true, you are not going to believe it! You will wish that I was lying.

My husband works in the shipyard next to us, I'm at Keppel-Fels and he is at Jurong. Most of these shipyards have what they call cantinas. No, not the wonderful cantinas that serve margaritas with chips and salsa. These cantinas are what we back home would call a lunch room. It's a cheap, convenient place for the people in the office or even the yard to grab some lunch. Now, as you can imagine, shipyards are not the cleanest places on the island, but what I am about to tell you is ... well disgusting.

My husbands employer is in the offices next to the cantina. They are separated by a door and and small machinery space for the air conditioning. One afternoon there was a noise or something coming from the cantina so my husband was going to open the door to see what was on the other side. When he opened the door the cleaning lady was in the cantina cleaning up after lunch. She was mopping - both the FLOORS and the TABLES!! with the same mop! I almost died when he told me this. She had her cell phone between her chin and her sholder talking to someone, just mopping away! Let me tell you, I am not germophobic. But that made me want to go buy a small bottle of hand sanitizer (which you don't see everywhere here like you do at the checkout counters back home) to keep with me at all times.

Now, whenever we go eat somewhere I wonder if that is how the table has been "cleaned" off. I don't want to touch anything!

I Miss Wal-Mart

...and Target...and Bed, Bath & Beyond...and Home Depot...

Did I tell you we have been without a trash can in the kitchen for about a month now? Some time ago we had some pest control people come to our condo to help us with a little ant problem we were having. Well, after they left I noticed that our trash bin lid was smashed in. Many emails and phone calls later we got the pest control company to pay for the trash can...however, when they dropped off the check they took our dented trash can with them. So, here is the problem....we are having trouble finding another one. It's not like I can just run down to any of the stores I mentioned above and get a new one. No! They stores you think would carry them, don't. Robert and I did find one, but they couldn't get it to scan so we said forget it! I think I am going to have to go to a department store, their version of a Macy's or Dillards, to find one. The things I used to take for granted.

Elegant Curses

To construct a Shakespearean insult, combine one word from each of the three columns below and preface it with "Thou":

7th Lunar Month

Want to know how superticious the Chinese can be? Well...in August they "celebrate" (not sure if that is the word I would use) the 7th Lunar Month. This is where on the first day of August the gates of Hell open up and the kui (uncared for spirits or spirits under judgment that are locked in hell) roam the earth to eat their fill before being locked up for another year. The belief is that once the gates are opened, these kui will come out to look for food and if no one has prepared any offerings for them, they will go into homes to help themselves. Fearful of such visits, people are generally quick to make offerings to appease and ward off the hungry ghosts. It demonstrates the concern in Chinese religious belief for the pitiable existence of souls not cared for by the living.

As part of the celebrations of this festival, a ge tai (variety show) is often held, primarily to entertain the kui in the hope that when distracted or happy, they will not look for or disturb living beings. The first night of the ge tai is traditionally meant for the kui to attend. Another practice is to hold celebratory dinners, during which various items of luck and blessing will be auctioned off. Many would bid for these items in the hope and belief that they would, in year ahead, bring prosperity to the owners. The most prized possession is a block of charcoal. This relates back to the myth of Mu Lian, where it is held that when Mu Lian finally reached hell, the buns he brought to feed his mother had turned into charcoal.

The believers lay emphasis on giving offerings to ghosts because it is regarded as an important means of seeking fortune. Offerings such as paper (or hall) money and paper replicas of objects from the material world, such as cars, computers and even mobile phones. These paper objects are burnt so that the departed can enjoy comforts in the afterlife.

Other believers have warned that Special attention must be given to the "hungry ghosts" and the "lonely ghosts," this is because they have no living descendants can easily get bad-tempered and destructive during their "vacation" back to Earth. The paper objects can prevent them from doing any harm to the living or the dead, the Chinese would use lanterns to distract them away, or make sacrifices and burn "hell notes" or "paper replicas" for them to use in the underworld, in a safe place outside their homes (to prevent them from coming in) to "bribe" these disturbed souls.

Superstitions
Here is the list of ‘advices’ to heed during the Hungry Ghost festival

• Don’t move, renovate or marry during Hungry Ghost Festival as it is considered inauspicious.


• Stay away from swimming during the 7th month as it is believed that the water spirits will drag these little ones into the water and drown them.


• Avoid old trees. It is believed that the spirits will hide there.


• Children are advised to return home early and not to wander around alone at night. This belief is due to the reason that the wandering ghosts might possess children.
  

THINGS YOU' D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T!

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
Do I look like a people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You!... Off my planet!
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

After The Beep

Need something humerous for your answering machine message? Give one of these a try:

1. My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished


2. A is for academics, B is for beer, one of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message.


3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money, if you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, I have plenty of money


4. Hi. Now you say something.


5. Hi, I’m not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.


6. Hello. I am David’s answering machine. What are you?


7. (From Japanese friend) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!


8. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.


9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you are still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.


10. This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.


11. Hi. I am probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.


12. Hi, his is George. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.


13. If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.


14. Please leave a message. However you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.


15. Hello, you’ve reached Jim and Sonya. We can’t pick up the phone right now, because we’re doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down… and I like doing it left to right… real slow… so leave a message, and when we’re done brushing our teeth, we’ll get back to you.

What Could This Mean?

I'm getting worried about one of my co-workers who sits in an office a good 40FT across from me. Every day after lunch when he comes in I can hear his selection of music he's listening to. Right now it's Cher, yesterday it was ABBA and the day before it was the Bee Gee's. Do you get the picture? I think I need to find my headphones.

Whatcha Doin'?

It's been so long since I've talked to people back home. I feel like I've lost touch and need to know what you've been doing lately. So, when you get a chance fill me in by posting a comment and answer these questions for me (my answers are in purple):

1. Last movie you saw in a theatre? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
2. Last book you read (or are reading)? Infidel
3. Last trip/vacation you took was when and to where? Bangkok, Thailand at the end of July
4. Last CD you bought/downloaded? Rob got me three for my birthday: Carrie Underwood, Gretchen Wilson and Kelly Clarkston
5. Last concert you went to and when? Gwen Stefani, August 14, 2007
6. Last time you went out to eat, where did you go? Last REAL restaurant, not local hawker food, was Sunday Brunch at the Copthorne Waterfront
7. Have you started your Christmas shopping? sort of
8. Have you had any additions to your family (kids or pets)? Nope
9. Have you started any new hobbies? Digital Scrapbooking
10. Have you kept up with your New Year's Resolution? I can't remember what it was!

Gwen Stefani in Singapore

Well, Rob and I took Avery to see Gwen Stefani Tuesday night at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. First let me say... Dwight, TByrd, Zona, Mark...you are all still my favorites but since you weren't here I had to go see Gwen. If nothing more than for a sense of something from the US. All things considered it was a good show. She thanked the audience numerous times for buying her CD's, listening to her music and coming to see her perform. At one point during the show she jumped off the stage and ran through the audience to the back of the venue. Then, while singing, mingled with the fans, ran to the side near us and back up to the stage. She sang just about all the tunes off of Sweet Escape. We saw her son and her husband before the show. There was a girl sitting about two rows in front of us that had her son when she came in and handed him over to hubbie before she went and sat down in her seat. Have no idea who she was though. I took a bunch of pictures but most of them didn't turn out at all. I would be upset if it was one of my favorites that I didn't get pictures of, nothing against Gwen. Hopefully Avery's pictures turned out better.

Trying to get caught up!

Wow! We have been so busy with work and family life it has been hard to find enough time to even come up with a simple little post for my blog here. I am dying to get my pictures from Bangkok posted. Here is the rundown on what we've been doing (sorry...this is mainly for family and friends)

1. Got my RING!! It's beautiful!
2. Went out to eat for mom's birthday at a really good Italian place, Pasta Brava, Saturday night. Great food! Lot's of fun. I swear our cab driver on our way there must have been a Formula 1 driver in a previous life. We made it there in record time.
3. Signed up for golf lessons. First real lesson starts on Wednesday.
4. My "baby" started HIGH SCHOOL today. Boy am I feeling old. Maybe that's why I spent part of the day searching the internet for facial treatments to make me look younger! LOL!
5. Busier than ever at work. I have most of my paperwork turned in though for my application to go back to school to earn my Master's in Civil Engineering. Just having trouble getting my transcripts from U of H.
6. Taking Avery to see Gwen Stefani tomorrow night. You would die if you knew how much the tickets where. That's how desperate I am to see a concert I guess. Even though it isn't TByrd!

One final note - All my thoughts and prayers are with my friend Cristie back home. Her dad passed away Friday night. I know that even though he had made life difficult for her at times, she will miss him and that it will be hard on her for a while. I wish I could be there for her in person, but my long distance prayers is all I can send.

Being an American

Theodore Roosevelt on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes herein good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall betreated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage todiscriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, ororigin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet anAmerican, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiancehere. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't anAmerican at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We haveroom for but one language here, and that is the English language... and wehave room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the Americanpeople.

"Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Every American citizen needs to read this! I checked out this link: http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/troosevelt.asp

And there is more interesting reading there as well.

Oh My!

Has it been almost 10 days since I've last been here??? Well we (mom, the girls, a friend and myself) went to Bangkok for three days...yesterday was mine and Blair's birthday and today is Blair's last full day here. She leaves at O-dark-30 in the morning. Her flight is at like 6:30 AM!!! Last time we all overslept the alarm and had to haul a** to get her to the airport on time. Bangkok was a blast! I'll do a separate post on the trip, complete with pictures, real soon. We will definately go back there and take Rob. So, here's a picture from our Birthday dinner last night. And I also wanted to send Happy Birthday wishes to Selina in California - all three of us share the same birthday. How cool is that?

Oh! and I know what you fellow Texans are thinking...Mexican food in Singapore? How good could it be? Well, actually it's pretty decent. Ok, it's not Gualajara's but I've definately had worse back home. The only downside is the price. A pitcher of margaritas is S$42. I believe most entrees are in the mid to S$20+ range. But for a taste of home every here and there it's worth it to me.

Sold our House

FINALLY! Now we no longer have to worry about the pool and the lanscaping from half-way around the world! We will miss our wonderful neighbors though. I miss the pool parties and the weekend BBQ's. Oh well! We will build our own house next time and it will be exaclty what we want, pool and all!

Are You Ghetto?

Take this test and see.
This test is guaranteed to reveal "Ghetto" tendencies!
Answer each question and keep track of your POINTS
1. You've ever used an album cover for a dustpan. (5 points)
2. If you've ever run a race barefoot in the middle of the street.(10 points)
3. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5points) * 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady's)
4. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)
5. If you have ever had to walk to school or walked home from school (2 points)
6. If you have ever used dishwashing liquid for bubble bath. (5points)
7. If you ever mixed Kool-Aid one glass at a time because you got tired of other people drinking up the Kool-Aid you just made. (5 points)
8. If you have ever played any of the following games: "hide and go seek", "freeze tag", "'momma may I?'", or "red light/green light." (2 points each)
9. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell)
10. If you refer to "Now and Later" candies as "Nighladers". (5 points)
11. If you've ever had reusable bacon grease in a container on your stove (5 points +15 if you still do it)
12. The batteries in your remote control ever been held in by a piece of tape (5 points)
13. If you have ever worn! any of the following fragrances: Brute, Hai Karate, Jean! Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge. (1 point each)
14. You've ever used Tussy. (5 points)
15. You've never been to the dentist. (15 points)
16. If you have a friend or family member whose nickname is one word said twice: (ex: dee-dee, fee-fee, man-man, kay-kay, lee-lee, ree-ree, ray-ray, nay-nay). (10 points)
17. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)
18. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)
19. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc.) (5 points)
20. You use 'n'em to describe a certain group of people for 1 example: Craig 'n' em or Momma 'n' em (5 points)
21. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (5 points)
22. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it! (10 points)
23. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (10 points)
24. You've ever left a social gathering with a plate. (2 points)
25. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (5 points)
26. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (10 points)
27. You don't have your own place but your child had a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (15 points)
28. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)
29. You think Tupac is still alive. (20 points)

Now, add up the points to see how really Ghetto you are:
0 - 50 points I guess you were raised in the suburbs
51 - 75 points A bonafide ex-hood rat
76 - 149 points Spent a little time in the projects, huh? Hey, not ghetto, just was very imaginative!!!
150+ points Still up in 'dat piece-REPRESENT!

Hoo-Dee-Hoooo! ! !
LEAVE YOUR SCORE IN THE COMMENT BOX SO PEOPLE CAN SEE HOW GHETTO FABULOUS YOU REALLY ARE! ! !

Tips for Bosses

Since it looks like I'm going to have a busy day today, here is a little work humor for you (btw..my boss is nothing like this):

• Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 3:30 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
• If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
• Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
• If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I'm psychic.
• Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
• If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
• If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in onversations.
• If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
• Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really mess up your job if I do it wrong or don't finish it.
• Tell me all of your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much in taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
• Wait until my annual evaluation and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating. I'm not here for the money anyway.

Transformers - The Movie

Rob and I took the girls to see the new Transformers movie last night. It was kinda cool. We went to Golden Village and saw it in one of their two Gold Class theaters. This area as a private lounge area where you can sit and have drinks and munchies before the movie. One in the theater you have your own recliner with a soft blanket. The recliners are paired up with a table in between. The table has a call button so you can order more drinks and dinner as well. It even has a wine bucket built into the table. The tickets are little pricier but it is a great way to see a show. You can get spoiled easily. The food is really good too, restaurant quality and they don't skimp on the porportions. In general the food at these theaters is cheap compared to the theaters back home where you can get a coke and popcorn for $20. Here it's more like S$6. I thought the movie was good too. I liked how it had the action/fighting side and the romance as well. We have tickets to go see the new Harry Potter moive on Saturday night. It opens here on Thursday. That one we will be seeing in their GV Max theatre. It has 602 seats and the screen is 22.4 meters long (73.5ft). When you buy movie tickets here you get assigned seats. You can buy the tickets online, at these AXS kioks all over the island or at the theater. They weren't offering Gold Class tickets yet. As you can see the girls had fun with the Simpson's after the movie.

Malay Wedding

Rob and I were invited to attend the wedding of one of the local girls that work in my office. It was a truly unique experience and I'm so glad we went. Liyanah was just beautiful in her traditional wedding attire, her hands had been painted with henna. From what I gathered they were engaged on December 25th, 2006. They played a video on huge screens throughout the ballroom where Sunday's wedding was held that showed the engagement. It was a huge production in itself with her all dressed up and family all around. There was a lot of food too. Then (I'm not sure the date) there was the religious wedding ceremony and then Sunday was the wedding reception (at least that is what was on the invitation). I did a little reading on the internet to get some idea of what we experienced. Here is a little of what I found:

Wedding traditions
The institution of marriage in a Muslim community is important. The day before the wedding, the bride goes through a ritual called Berinai (literally meaning henna application) where the hands and feet are covered from the dye of the henna leaves.
Wedding preparation is based on gotong-royong (co-operation) were the women folk get together to prepare the wedding banquet. The bersanding or wedding throne is where the bride and groom receive their guests. Wedding banquets are an informal event with lots to eat.
The hadrah (entourage) troupe, of teenage boys heralds the arrival of the groom by beating on the kompang (hand drums) and chanting qaranic verses (verses from the holy book) for good wishes. Today, you may even see a girl or two beating on the drums. Guest's trickle in the whole day and leave with the bunga telur (flower and egg), which is given for luck and prosperity. A Malay band adds to the gaiety of the wedding.

Drinking Age in Singapore is 18

One of things we are going to do while Blair is here is take her to the night club on the 71st & 72nd floor of the Swissotel called the New Asia Bar. Rob and I went there one night a couple of weeks ago. The view is unbelievable! Blair turns 21 while she's here so maybe that's something we can do to celebrate (even though you only have to be 18 here - same age you have to be to start driving too, what were they thinking). The music was decent, fun to dance too. And as of July 1st there is no smoking in bars and clubs, you can only smoke in designated smoking areas. So that will make it even more enjoyable for me anyway. The crowd seemed to be a mix. Maybe an older crowd than what Blair maybe used to, but it is a little $$ just to get in, so that might have something to do with it. I think she'll have fun! We can at least go check it out for a little while.

The Gang's All Here

Well, most of the gang anyway. Mom won't be back for about another week and I'm not sure if we could get my brother to make another trip on the BNE as he calls it (the Butt Numb Express) anytime soon. Rob and Avery arrived Thursday night at around 11:30 and Blair got in last night at about the same time. That's two nights in a row hanging out at Changi Airport. That's ok though as it's worth the late nights and early mornings (to work) to have everyone back here. While we were waiting on Blair there were two girls that started talking to us. Rob and Avery had on Aggie T-shirts and these girls are Aggies. The are here for the summer staying with host families while they take on a summer internship. There were about three people from Texas A&M that Blair knew on her flight. I guess there's a whole mess of 'em here for a month or so doing internships. Small world, huh? Who knows maybe Blair will get to see them some while she is here. I know they tend to all group together. I remember one year we went skiing in New Mexico during spring break and there must have been a group of Aggies there as they had yell practice by the lodge every afternoon.

Teaching Math (Thru the Years)

Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of$20. What do you think of this way of making a living?Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as thelogger cut down their homes?(There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math In 2000

Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera para $100.El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillasse puede comprar?

Work Place Words - 2007

Well, since I can't seem to get in the mood to work I thought some new workplace words were in order. (I didn't make these up, they were emailed to me by a friend)
NEW WORDS FOR 2007 :
Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!!!
1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Often feel like doing this to my computer......
14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. >From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.
16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
17. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).
18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.
19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

4th of July

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Well, I hope y'all are all enjoying your day off. It's already July 4th here in Singapore. Just another day here. So, please make sure you have some BBQ and watermelon for me! Ok, you can have a few margaritas or ice cold beer too. Take time to reflect on what our Independence Day celebrations are really about. In my opinion it seems that what our forefathers had intended for us is being forgotten. It seems that we are so worried about offending the non-American citizens that our own rights are being neglected.

See if you agree, I know this is a touchy subject:

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house). According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part). If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know. And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker.Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me.

I had a funny email at one time where someone was writting as if they were going on vacation to Mexico and they weren't going to bring their passport, and they weren't going to learn the language, etc. It was really good. I can't find it now. Please pass it along if you have a copy.

I almost died today

Not really, but but it felt like it! I don't care too much for those gecko's. They have the same ones here that we had back in Katy, TX. The one on the TV commercial is cute, but in real life they creep me out. I think it's their translucent appearance and their little sticky feet. When I was getting on the elevator to go down to the parking garage to leave for work one scampered on as I was getting on. Then I didn't know where it went. I was hoping around looking for it and didn't see it anywhere. The elevator isn't that big. So when I didn't see it I checked the bottom of my shoes, nope, not there. So, where was the little shit? Now, I'm panicking thinking it's in my hair or on me somewhere. By now, the elevator has reached the bottom level and then I see it along where the floor and wall meet. It peeked around at the opening when the door opened but it didn't get off when I did - Thank God!

Blogging Addict? I think not!

70%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Online Dating

Is there a 12-step program?

I passed!

I forgot to mention that I passed my driving test. It was kinda cool as far as driving tests go. The test is administered in a room with 44 computer screens arranged on 3 rows of tables. Fifteen minutes before the time the test is to start everyone signed up to take the test (which costs S$65) checks in a the desk by the door where you enter the room. You have to show either your Singapore passport or your foreign passport and your employment pass. (Side thought here...if the US wants and idea on how to handle immigration they should look here). You are then given a piece of paper with a pass code on it. When it's time for the test to start the screens show a keypad where you enter your pass code then start the test. It's all touch screen by computer. You have 50 minutes to answer 50 questions. The parts of the test where they asked questions concerning stuff like when there are several cars at an uncontrolled intersection, "who has the right away?", was the best part. They showed the diagram with a little video of the situation being covered. You could even replay it if you needed to. I think it took me less than 20 mintues. You can only miss 5 questions or you fail. They don't tell you what you made, just whether you passed or failed. The one thing they still need to work on is the actual getting of the license. To do that I have to bring in my Texas license, my passport, my employment pass and a passport photo, along with copies of all that. They didn't tell us that part, so now I have to go back. (Rob has my driver's license anyway. He had to take it with him for the closing on the house.) Well, now that I have my license all it's going to make me do is get even more p*ssed off at these people here that are so rude when they drive and drive is a term I use loosely for what they do. Now I "KNOW" what they are doing wrong instead of it just seeming wrong.

Mailing stuff to the US

I just realized I needed to mail something back the states. While it's easy enough to just put the required postage on it to mail it from here it just takes FOREVER to get there. It could take up to 4 weeks. You just never know. My other option is to put my letter in the regular weekly mail that our office sends back to the states bundled up via DHL. All I have to do is put a US postage stamp on it and once it gets to Houston they put it in the mail there for me. That takes about 3 days. Trouble is...I don't have any US postage stamps. BUT I found away to fix that. I made my own stamps. While this isn't going to help me right now, it will help me out in the future. The stamps I made and ordered online will be mailed to my office then they will send them FedEX to us here at the project office in our regular weekly mail run. I think I one time I saw a site where you could make them and print them out yourself. I couldn't find that one again so this time I used Zazzle. I created it in a rush so I didn't take the time to sort through ALL the digital photos I have but I thought for my first try they came out just fine. What do you think?

Crawfish Pot

This is how big I want my next crawfish pot to be. Think I can bring it back on the plane? We saw this in Chinatown. In my mind I can picture jungle natives deep in the jungle with some explorer they caught tied up and sitting in it over an open flame. Like the cartoons I used to see when I was little. It is one of the biggest pots I think I have ever seen. Using Avery as a measuring stick, she's about 5'-0" tall.

Yummm! I can smell the crawfish now.

Car Toys Hall of Fame - New Additions

Here is the latest in car dashboard, head rest, steering wheel accessories for your viewing pleasure:

Do you think this strange person has a thing for Winnie the Pooh? Keep in mind you have to be at least 18 to drive over here.

This person is not a freaky at the Pooh lover.

Driving License Test

Today I go take the written driving test to convert to a Singapore Driver's License. Wish me luck! I am studying now and came across a sentence in the handbook I wanted to share with you.

In order to qualify for a license to drive a motor car...you should not be suffering from any disease or physical inability which would impair your driving ability, for example: mental disorder, epilepsy and the liability to sudden attacks of giddiness.

No wonder all the driver's here seem to always be pissed off!

Catching Speeders!

Ok..I don't want to give anyone back home any ideas. Believe me, I have a hard enough time trying not to get speeding tickets without DPS or the Harris Co. Sheriffs Dept. putting these things to use. I just thought I would share with you some of the things they try here. This is a speed camera in a trash can:

New speed-buster on Singapore Roads. Can be deployed anywhere!! Can be set up by anyone!! Even Traffic Police disguised as Road Cleaners!! Don't be fooled and think speed cameras are only fixed on expressways!!! Not anymore.

This Speed Cam are now everywhere. So watch out not only for the bridges and expressway. Also look out for these cam in bin that are placed near the road for no reason.

Frequent Targeted Location.

• Holland Rd (near Botanic Gdns)
• Clemenceau Ave (near the Indian Temple)
• Upper Thomson Rd (after AMK Ave 2 Junction)
• Bukit Timah Road (outside Chinese High School)
• Tanjong Katong Rd (before the ECP)
• Cantoment Rd (opp Everton Park)....

Leg Inspections

No...I'm not talking about people's legs. I'm talking about the legs on a jack-up rig. Today I went on my first leg inspection. This is where the shipyard has blasted away all the barnacles and you go along each horizontal and diagonal brace and check for corrosion. Then the shipyard will replace or repair as you have noted, actually marked on each piece. This is how high up we were: We took an elevator up and climbed down level by level using the vertical ladders installed in all the scaffolding by the shipyard. I must have whacked my shin half a dozen times on the ladders. This is an annode. They are attached to the legs so that they corrode and not the leg. This one looks like it's been doing it's job:On the way down we noticed that some of the teeth on the leg chords have been deformed. Can you imagine the pressure it takes to do this to a solid piece of steel? If you look close you can see the edge had been curled back like you were sharpening a crayon:Well, I'm all grimy and dirty now. In bad need of a shower. Too bad it's only like 12:30, 5 or so hours until quitting time. Ok, one last photo. Look closely at this one. This is one of the jacking legs with scaffolding all the way up and around. Where it pokes through the covering doesn't it look like razor stubble? I thought it looked like "a leg that needs a shave".

House for Sale

Since we are living over here in Singapore now, we have had our house in Katy, TX for sale. I really liked the house and the area and wouldn't mind keeping it, but it's just too much trouble to keep up when you aren't there. We have a pool in the back yard and all the landscaping that we have to now hire someone else to take of for us. We have had a few interested parties since it's been on the market but nothing ever went through. So, now we have someone else interested in it so keep your fingers crossed that it all works out this time. The new people want to close on June 29th so Rob and I are trying to decide who will go home for the closing. As much as I would like to go home we are just too busy here right now for me to leave, and Rob was thinking about going home anyway for a visit. We'll see how it all goes. Blair is coming over the first part of July so whoever goes for sure has to be back by then. Neither of us want to be away somewhere while she's here visiting. Here's a picture of our house. So if it doesn't sale this time you can let me know if you know someone that might be interested! Great neighbors and schools in the area. Close to I-10 and Hwy 290.

Just kidding...this is really our house. :-)

I'm SO Excited!!

Rob has agreed to go with me to see Mark Chesnutt in October in JAPAN!! WhooHoo!! I am SO excited. For those of you that know me, you know that one of my favorite things to do is go to concerts with friends. Looks like it's time for a new ticker:

Thought I smelled something

Yesterday we were so busy here at work and had back-to-back meetings that I never got to go eat lunch. I had a bag of microwave popcorn instead. And as you can tell....I burned it. That's all I can smell this morning. I couldn't figure out why I was still smelling burnt popcorn from yesterday until I remembered I through a big fused ball of it in the garbage and our guy that empties the trash cans hasn't made it around yet. I guess I'll go find a place to dump this out. I do know how to microwave popcorn by the way...but remember our microwaves here don't have the cool "popcorn button", so I didn't cook it long enough the first try so I added 30 seconds and it was just starting to pop again when there was like 10 seconds left so I kept adding time until I over cooked it.

Need a recipe?

I'm in the process of putting my favorite recipes on another blog site (What's Cookin' Tonight). I love cookbooks and clipping recipes out of magazines to try later. In an effort to get them all in one location I am putting them on my blog. Feel free to take a look and try some out. I'm happy to share. In an effort not to infringe any one's rights I have added the source of the recipe at the bottom of each recipe if I know where it came from.

What's up with the Kleenex's?

See the box of Kleenex's in the back window of this car? No? They are hidden in the "cute" little fuzzy box shaped like a house with a duck peeking out of the front door. Now do you see them? The tissues are dispensed through the chimney. (BTW...it was a guy driving this car). It's really strange to me to see all these cars over here with at least one box of tissues in the back window or on the front dash. A lot of times you see two, one on each side. AND they must sell these decorative covers somewhere. This morning coming to work I saw a Strawberry shaped box cover, again fuzzy, sort of like a stuffed animal. (Again, another male driver) If you were in need of a Kleenex, how do you get to it if they are in the back window? Oh! Wait a minute! That helps explain the bad driving!

Pictures from Phuket

Busy 'Round Here

Well, this week has been super busy with work. So I haven't had much free time to update here. Let's see...

• At Avery's graduation she received a Presidential Excellence Award for maintaining a 3.5 GPA throughout the year. I thought that was pretty cool.


• Afterwards we went to eat at a Brazilian Churascaria called Carnivour. It was ok..but not as good ad Fogo de Chao in Houston.


• Looks like I might go back to school to get an Engineering degree so that I can move up to Project Engineer with the company I work for. Excited about that too.


• Last Saturday I went to my first all-day scrapbooking workshop. It was from 10:00AM to 11:00 PM. Believe it or not time flew by. It was a lot of fun.


• We have removed the derrick and the drill floor off the rig that we are upgrading here in Singapore. Here are some pictures of that: