THINGS YOU' D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T!

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
Do I look like a people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You!... Off my planet!
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

After The Beep

Need something humerous for your answering machine message? Give one of these a try:

1. My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished


2. A is for academics, B is for beer, one of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message.


3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money, if you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, I have plenty of money


4. Hi. Now you say something.


5. Hi, I’m not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.


6. Hello. I am David’s answering machine. What are you?


7. (From Japanese friend) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!


8. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.


9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you are still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.


10. This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.


11. Hi. I am probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.


12. Hi, his is George. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.


13. If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.


14. Please leave a message. However you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.


15. Hello, you’ve reached Jim and Sonya. We can’t pick up the phone right now, because we’re doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down… and I like doing it left to right… real slow… so leave a message, and when we’re done brushing our teeth, we’ll get back to you.

What Could This Mean?

I'm getting worried about one of my co-workers who sits in an office a good 40FT across from me. Every day after lunch when he comes in I can hear his selection of music he's listening to. Right now it's Cher, yesterday it was ABBA and the day before it was the Bee Gee's. Do you get the picture? I think I need to find my headphones.

Whatcha Doin'?

It's been so long since I've talked to people back home. I feel like I've lost touch and need to know what you've been doing lately. So, when you get a chance fill me in by posting a comment and answer these questions for me (my answers are in purple):

1. Last movie you saw in a theatre? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
2. Last book you read (or are reading)? Infidel
3. Last trip/vacation you took was when and to where? Bangkok, Thailand at the end of July
4. Last CD you bought/downloaded? Rob got me three for my birthday: Carrie Underwood, Gretchen Wilson and Kelly Clarkston
5. Last concert you went to and when? Gwen Stefani, August 14, 2007
6. Last time you went out to eat, where did you go? Last REAL restaurant, not local hawker food, was Sunday Brunch at the Copthorne Waterfront
7. Have you started your Christmas shopping? sort of
8. Have you had any additions to your family (kids or pets)? Nope
9. Have you started any new hobbies? Digital Scrapbooking
10. Have you kept up with your New Year's Resolution? I can't remember what it was!

Gwen Stefani in Singapore

Well, Rob and I took Avery to see Gwen Stefani Tuesday night at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. First let me say... Dwight, TByrd, Zona, Mark...you are all still my favorites but since you weren't here I had to go see Gwen. If nothing more than for a sense of something from the US. All things considered it was a good show. She thanked the audience numerous times for buying her CD's, listening to her music and coming to see her perform. At one point during the show she jumped off the stage and ran through the audience to the back of the venue. Then, while singing, mingled with the fans, ran to the side near us and back up to the stage. She sang just about all the tunes off of Sweet Escape. We saw her son and her husband before the show. There was a girl sitting about two rows in front of us that had her son when she came in and handed him over to hubbie before she went and sat down in her seat. Have no idea who she was though. I took a bunch of pictures but most of them didn't turn out at all. I would be upset if it was one of my favorites that I didn't get pictures of, nothing against Gwen. Hopefully Avery's pictures turned out better.

Trying to get caught up!

Wow! We have been so busy with work and family life it has been hard to find enough time to even come up with a simple little post for my blog here. I am dying to get my pictures from Bangkok posted. Here is the rundown on what we've been doing (sorry...this is mainly for family and friends)

1. Got my RING!! It's beautiful!
2. Went out to eat for mom's birthday at a really good Italian place, Pasta Brava, Saturday night. Great food! Lot's of fun. I swear our cab driver on our way there must have been a Formula 1 driver in a previous life. We made it there in record time.
3. Signed up for golf lessons. First real lesson starts on Wednesday.
4. My "baby" started HIGH SCHOOL today. Boy am I feeling old. Maybe that's why I spent part of the day searching the internet for facial treatments to make me look younger! LOL!
5. Busier than ever at work. I have most of my paperwork turned in though for my application to go back to school to earn my Master's in Civil Engineering. Just having trouble getting my transcripts from U of H.
6. Taking Avery to see Gwen Stefani tomorrow night. You would die if you knew how much the tickets where. That's how desperate I am to see a concert I guess. Even though it isn't TByrd!

One final note - All my thoughts and prayers are with my friend Cristie back home. Her dad passed away Friday night. I know that even though he had made life difficult for her at times, she will miss him and that it will be hard on her for a while. I wish I could be there for her in person, but my long distance prayers is all I can send.

Being an American

Theodore Roosevelt on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes herein good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall betreated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage todiscriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, ororigin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet anAmerican, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiancehere. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't anAmerican at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We haveroom for but one language here, and that is the English language... and wehave room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the Americanpeople.

"Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Every American citizen needs to read this! I checked out this link: http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/troosevelt.asp

And there is more interesting reading there as well.