When is a name only a name?

Every here and there while shopping here in Singapore I come across items that I'm not familiar with. This morning there was a two page ad for Bird's Nest in the paper. I must admit this is one of those strange sounding items that I have no idea what it is. I'm thinking it can't literally be bird nests, can it? I know that the Chinese are known for what I consider to be strange beliefs in what they call Chinese Medicine. However, I just assumed that the name Bird's Nest was just that, a 'name', and not really bird nests. It comes in a jar. And why would, not to mention how, would a person even consume a birds nest?

So, I did a little research on the Internet. I figured there must be other people out there just as curious as I am to know what the heck this stuff really is. The first website I came across stated:

According to legends,the great voyager, Zheng He, had been known to popularize the consumption of bird's nest. During his journey with his crew in the rough sea, he discovered a small island in the Malayan peninsula during a thunder storm. As food were insufficient on the island that was unoccupied by people, they set off to search for food. In no time, they discovered bird’s nests in cliffs. Thinking that the bird's nests might be a good source of food, the members of the crew were ordered to retrieve them. After thorough cleansing and double-boiling, the bird’s nests were consumed. Days after, members of the crew had noticeable glowing complexion and improved stamina. Bird’s nest were then brought back to China and impressed by the miraculous effects, the Imperial doctor termed them as health-bestowing gift and ranked bird’s nest above ginseng, shark’s fin, and abalone.
It was taught back then that bird’s nest should be consumed in the morning, by mixing them with congee over a period of time,, to enable the body to take in its beneficial properties. That knowledge was passed down through generations up til this day.

So now I'm thinking, no freakin' way! This has got to be a mistake! Maybe we aren't talking about the same bird nests here. So I went on and did another search. The next website said this:

Indonesian’s Bird's nest is one of the finest qualities in the world. There are two kinds of places to develop the Swiftlet (Collocalia Fuchipaga) nest: In the caves and in old or abandoned or cultivated houses with three different types of nest such as Blood Nest, White Nest, and Yellow Nest.
Once the nests are removed from the houses, they are washed and cleaned (processed) before being shipped to the shops for sale. From Indonesia, millions of nests are sent to Chinese communities around the world, with Hong Kong, Mainland China and Taiwan the top consumers. Southeast Asian consumers include: Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore.
Edible bird's nest can be categorised into two main types according to the location they are harvested from: cave nest and house nest.
Cave nest
Cave nest are mainly harvested from natural caves in eastern Sarawak and Sabah (two Malaysian states on the island of Borneo). These caves are scattered in the state's various forest reserves, natural parks and coastal islands. The more famous of these caves are located at Niah, Kakus, Baram and Tinjar.These caves differ in sizes and heights, but mostly are found on high cliffs facing the sea. Cave nest generally contains more dirt and feather than house nest.
House Nest
House nest is made by Swiftlets that nest under the roof of houses in the countryside. Since many believed that having Swiftlets in their house is a sign of good omen, not to mention the prospect of a lucrative trade, it wasn't long before houses are abandoned to encourage the Swiflets to move in. Indonesians started encouraging Swiftlets to nest in empty abandoned houses since the Dutch colonial times. Needless to say, house nest are those harvested from these"swallow houses". Generally, the texture of house nest are smoother compared to those of cave nest, and with less feathers and other contaminants. Thus, the original cupped hand or crescent shaped bowl of the Swiflet nest can be retained after the removal of feathers.

Now I'm thinking...those crazy Chinese are EATING REAL bird nests!!! As you can see I've underlined the parts that are particularly disturbing to me. But the ones I've seen are in a jar. Could they really be talking about the same thing? To find out, I went to the website of the company that ran the ad in the paper. This is what I found there:

Premium Bird's Nest (Sugar-Free)
Actions : Maintains youthful and glowing complexion, speeds up recovery from illness, stimulates appetite, aids digestion, invigorates the lungs and boosts immunity. The product can be added to fresh milk, desserts, salads, tonic soups or others as desired.
Ingredients : Bird's Nest
Unit : 150g/bottle

It is amazing to me that in a country that is supposidly so protective of it's citizens there appears to be no government regulations over such "snake-oil" type of products and services. Here the papers are full of ads for companies that promise to make you slimmer, younger, larger breasts, whiter skin, etc. There was an article in yesterdays paper on this very subject that said they (Ministry of Health) leave it up to the physician's conscience to not offer products or perform procedures that do not have any proven benefits...unless they are doing clinical trials. And we all know how honest and trust worthy everyone is...give me a break! Here I am in a country where you can't buy a pack of bubble gum - but if I so choose I can go spend my life savings by signing up for some program that promises I'll loose weight in weeks. I also saw an ad that says I can loose weight with a balloon that you swallow - with no risk from surgery or side effects from weight-loss drugs. Well, this is a little off the subject - so I'll save that for another day.

Rodeo Houston

Well, up till now I have kept from boring you with my complaining about missing another year of rodeo in Houston. Unless you've been apart of it and love volunteering as much as I do then you just wouldn't understand. This is my second year I'm missing by being there. To me volunteering at the rodeo is so much fun that you sometimes forget that you are actually there to help support the rodeo in it's efforts to raise scholarship money for Texas students. I guess rodeo will be over this weekend so why am I just now bringing it up? It's because there was an article in the latest issue of our local free paper Today all about the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. It was a huge two page article. I couldn't believe it! The article mentions the actual rodeo events, the calf scramble, the entertainment and the carnival. There was also one sentence about the money raised and the scholarships. This lead me to actually write a letter to the author of the article. There was no mention of the over 20,000 volunteers that donate their time and skills to the rodeo. Everything is supposed to be for the kids. That's why we (volunteers) spend all the hours and not to mention money at the rodeo that we do. The rodeo brings in some $75 million each year her article read, and some 17 percent of it goes to scholarships. That doesn't sound like much when it's listed at 17 percent, but that is actually millions given in scholarships to Texas students every year. Did I mention that I miss Rodeo?

18 Years!

Well hubby and I just celebrated our 18 year wedding anniversary on St. Patrick's day. And the answer to your question is, No, we didn't have a green wedding or green beer at the reception. But is it kinda fun having your wedding anniversary on St. Patrick's Day. It's kinda like everyone holds a celebration for you. On Sunday, the day before our anniversary, we went and rode the Singapore Flyer. They have made a whole 'destination' out of the area. It is still growing but they have several restaurants and shops. They even have a Build-A-Bear, which we had to stop at. Of course having daughter no. 2 with us made it "okay" that we were at Build-A-Bear. Hubby even made me a cute bear for our anniversary. Here he is naming it. I wish I could have gotten a picture of him giving it a bath. The store workers were so into it. They didn't let him skip a single step. See, even grown-ups can have fun at Build-a-Bear! Another exciting thing there is Popeye's Fried Chicken!! Okay, this is sad I know! A person should not get excited about fast food fried chicken. I was so surprised to see a Popeye's that I had to go in and check out the menu. They have KFC here but if you go in and ask them for white meat, or chicken breast strips they look at you like you are from another planet. )I just want to smack them!) All KFC has is legs, thighs and wings. What do they do with the rest of the chicken is a mystery. And it wasn't even the fact that they have chicken breat strips at Popeyes that I was so happy about - it was the biscuits!!!! NO WHERE on this island can you get biscuits. And I know, I'm from the south, I should be able to make biscuits but mine never turn out. They are usually 5 lbs each, dry and hard. So if you have a good, no-fail, biscuit recipe - please send it! Anyway... they guy that I was talking to behind the counter must have thought that I was one crazy Ang Mo to be so happy to have found biscuits. You can't even buy the refrigerated Pillsbury kind in the stores here. I'm telling you - Singaporeans don't know what biscuits are. Maybe that's why they are so skinny...hmmmm...

Monday evening we had a wonderful anniversary dinner over on Sentosa at a place called il Lido. We had a great view overlooking the water. We didn't make it in time to see the sunset, but the food and service was some of the best we've had here in Singapore. The food is Italian. We had a nice bottle of wine and a 4 course dinner. Our waiter even had a sense of humor which is unusual here. Seems like anytime we try to joke with the waiters they just look at you. I guess it's part language difference and part cultural difference. And it doesn't happen to just us. Other people that we know say the same thing.

Tell Me What You Think

The other day on Yahoo I saw this picture of Katharine McPhee and I thought she reminded me of Jaclyn Smith. We saw her on American Idol this week and I mentioned it to my hubby and he didn't think so. And actually at the time she didn't to me either since she had her hair in a ponytail. But looking at these pictures she does resemble Jaclyn to me. What do you think?

Sorry to bore you with such trival dribble but not much else is going on....or I'm just too darn busy here at work to think of anything interesting.

Singtel must have read my post

Yep, just days ago I was telling y'all about our ordeal with Singtel and how we had to go into the Hello Store to switch daughter no. 2's phone plan and how they put her on her own plan. Well, guess what? I heard on the radio yesterday that Singtel now offers what they call their "mio plan". Funny thing...I kept thinking they were say "meal plan"! LOL! Anyway... their new "mio plan" bundles all 3 services at 1 great price. Simply add as little as $15.29 per month to enjoy more talktime or faster broadband speed. So it’s easy to find the right plan to suit your needs. Well I'm not falling for it! I'm not wasting another day of my life waiting in line at one of their Hello Stores to find out about their new plan. I know it will all be a waste of time and only cause me more stress and wrinkles. If they want to send me 3 different bills that's fine with me. If they offered online bill pay and statements then I would maybe go for that, but they'd need to make it where I could sign up online. I refuse to go back into one of those stores because it's never just one simple trip. No, there will always be some form of ID that you forgot, or the thing you are going in for isn't quite like the way you read about it online...someway, somehow it will require a second trip to their store and I'm not wasting any more time doing that.

Cancel your credit cards before you die

Now some people are really stupid!!!! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. Reminds me of a conversation I had with HSBC bank here a week or two ago. Only difference is you have to go through your whole life history with EVERY person you talk to. I was about to pull my hair out. Wish I could have come up with a great 'come back' like at the end of this post.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'

Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Citibank : 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Citibank: 'Excuse me?'Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'

Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'

Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member : 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member : 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)

Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member : 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )

After they get the fax :

Citibank : 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'

Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'

Citibank : 'That might help.'

Family Member : ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'

Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member : 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???

Texas Pride

Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast , and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas . Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?

In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone.

Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go, 'Wow..so you're from Iowa ? Cool, tell me about it?' Do you know why? Because no one gives a crap about Iowa.'

Texas is the Alamo . Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom.

We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and Crockett, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes.

John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas.

Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Anna at San Jacinto.

Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest.

Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend.

Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country.

Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas.

Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.

Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork.

Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not even Mexico.

Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington and the Astrodome. (guess now the Reliant Stadium too)

Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Tommy Lee Jones, Waylon Jennings, Janis Joplin, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, Howard Hughes, George H. W.Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, and George W. Bush. and let's not forget GEORGE STRAITand Richard Persall.

PANTERA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments and Compaq, Bell Helicopter And LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter.

Texas is NASA.

Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.

Texas is home to the most amazing sunsets of gold over an empty field.

Texans have pride like no others.

Texas is hundreds of deer running around neighborhoods and fields.

Texas is skies blackened with doves, and fields full of deer.

Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and for the Night In Old San Antonio River Parade in San Antonio.

To drive across Texas is to drive 1/4 the way across the United States. The distance from El Paso, TX to California and from Orange, TX to Florida is closer than the distance from El Paso to Orange.

Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities.

If it isn't in Texas, you probably don't need it.

Everything's bigger in Texas!

No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas.

By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland , California , or Maine , and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state.

Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington , D.C. and we can divide our state into five states at any time if we wanted to! We included these things as part of the deal when we came on. That's the best part, right there.

Texas even has its own power grid!! ... Did I mention Live music capitol of the world?

Lion Dance

If I wait too much longer this post will seem completely irrelevant. This is a short little video we took at the Singapore Zoo. During the Chinese New Year the zoo had all kinds of special activities going one. I'll add some photos later. Enjoy!

How Old Should You Be...

to get your own cell phone bill? Well here in Singapore I guess it really doesn't matter. When we got here almost 2 years ago we got daughter no. 2 a cell phone. The phone was in hubbies name. Well recently Singtel came out with a new Student Plan that has free unlimited SMS (text messaging - but daughter no. 2 says it stands for "secretly messaging someone"). Standing in line at the Singtel store is like watching paint dry while having to listen to screaming cats. It's that enjoyable. I was trying to get wireless broadband for my laptop and on trip number two up to the Singtel store to get the correct hardware I notice the new Student Plan promotion. I thought, "great, I'll sign daughter no. 2 up for the new plan so we will no longer have to pay for her to send secret messages." Wrong. Sales clerk (which I couldn't tell if it was a he or a she - just like a great majority of the people here - I swear I do not know if the person that has been cutting my hair for the past almost 2 years is a guy or a girl!) anyway...the sales clerk looks up the account and says I have to come back with my daughter's School ID. Can't switch her plan without confirming that she is for sure a student. Ok. So I try to plan a day to take her up to the Singtel store with me. We want to go EARLY, so we are there when they open AT 11AM - not so early to us. Early here is 9AM. So this past Saturday we go up to the mall (yes - everything is in a mall) and when it is our turn we go to the sales clerk and tell him that we want to switch daugher no. 2 to the Student Plan. He looks up the account and asks if Mr. Robert is with us. I tell him, no, why? Well it seems that since the bill is in his name he has to be there to 'ok' the change. That was not a big deal as they said he could fax them his employment pass. However, now the sales clerk not only wants the student ID but also daughter no. 2's dependent pass. I told the guy, "look, the last time I was here I was told to bring her STUDENT ID, nothing was said about her DEPENDENT PASS. You know she has one, she couldn't be here in Singapore without one. Why do you need it?" He told me in order to put the account in her name they needed her dependent pass. I was like, "what?" "You're telling me you are going to move the account from her dad's name into her own name? She's 14 years old! Who then ultimately is responsible for paying the bill?" He looked at me kinda strange and more or less said that she would be responsible but that what ever we worked out at home was up to us!! Well needless to say, since we didn't have her passport or dependent pass with us we had to go home and come back later. Hubby went with us that time and we got it all taken care of. I still can't believe how backwards they are about some things. So now we have three cell phones, my wireless broadband and our home phone. Guess how many different bills we get each month? Yep, you got it! THREE (tricked ya - my phone and hubbies phone are paid for by our employers). Guess it's too difficult to combine all the numbers (daughter's cell, broadband and home phone) onto one statement.



Besides all of that excitement we had a whole other conversation about their phone prices, trade-in values, etc. What they offer is worthless! What we got back home with Verizon is much better.

Some Days I Wanna Scream

Yesterday after work was one of those days. Daughter no. 2 had to go back up to her school for gymnastics. So, when I left work I went by the condo, picked her up and we were on our way. I also needed to do some grocery shopping, so I figured I would do that while she worked. Simple enough - website showed there was a Cold Storage (one of the local chain of grocery stores over here) at Causeway Point Mall. Yes, a mall. In case you've missed my ranting in previous posts - the grocery stores here are for the most part located in shopping malls. So that requires all the fun and excitement of parking, walking, etc. You'd think after almost 2 years here it wouldn't bother so much, but I guess it's the larger number of years that I've been exposed to the convenience of parking directly in front of the store that has me conditioned to believe that is the way it should be and they have it all wrong over here. So, after dropping daughter no. 2 off at the school I head to the mall. I drive around and around working my way up the floors in the parking garage until I find a spot on the 4th floor. As I enter the mall and head to the elevator it would have been smart for me to notice the set of stairs I had to go down to get to the elevators. If I would have made a mental note of those stairs it would have helped a little later on when I got ready to leave the mall. You can see where this is going I'm sure. After picking up all the items on my list that I could find - and trying not to gag from the smell of the Durian every time I realized I forgot something near the produce section, I headed to the check out counter. I went to pay with my credit card, just like I do at the other Cold Storage's I shop at and guess what the cashier told me? "We only take NETS or cash." I was like WTF! What century is this? All the other stores take plastic! NETS is kinda like the old ATM cards that banks used when they first came out - pre-visa debt card days. So...now I am off to find a stupid ATM machine so I can get cash. They were asking me what bank my card was from and I was like it doesn't matter! It's a Visa Debit card - it's from the US and it works everywhere (except for at your stupid store)! So the first ATM I find has three machines and the line is a mile long. So up the escalator I go. I go up two levels and find another ATM with no line. Guess everyone else was too lazy. I get the cash, go back to the store, wait behind another person, pay for my groceries - then, as I left the store and I am pushing a shopping cart full of groceries through the mall it hits me! I was like this seems so weird! I can't be the only person who has every had to push a shopping cart through this mall - am I? Are people staring at me? See, the one thing that is different here than in Texas where I am from - they buy a small amount of groceries with more frequent trips to the store. I didn't see anyone else leaving with a cart (or trolley as they call it). Back in Texas we buy in bulk...less trips to the store. We'll fill up two baskets if that's what it takes. We enjoy or free time a lot more I guess. Also since everyone in their grandmother has a live-in "domestic helper" here - they make them do the shopping. When I get back to the elevator (or lift as they call them), I get on and 4 more people squeeze on. We go up two levels and three more idiots squeeze in. When we get to my floor and I ask to get off - no one moves! At that point the politeness is gone and I'm like, "look, you have got to move so I can get out." The last three idiots that got one think they can just scooch out of the way, and I said, "no, you have to get out of the elevator so I can get out" - NOW! Once I was off - that was the point in which I would have remember the stairs. I had to carry all those shopping bags up the stairs to get to my car. Guess at that point I was grateful that it was more of a 'local' store that didn't carry all the things I wanted to buy or I wouldn't have made it up the stairs. I had to leave the cart there by the elevator. Good thing I only put in 20 cents to use the cart and not a dollar. Here you have to pay to use the cart and you get your money back when you return the cart. Just typing this has given me a knot on my shoulder. I think I need drink tonight!

Should we be worried?

Mas Selamat Kastari is Singapore's most wanted terror fugitive who escaped for the third time on 27 February 2008 from detention under the country's Internal Security Act and was allegedly the head of the Singapore branch of militant group Jemaah Islamiah (JI).
Post-9/11, Singapore authorities discovered that he planned to crash seven bomb-filled trucks at various locations around city-state, and he had been on the run ever since. In January 2006, Mas Selamat was arrested by Indonesian anti-terror squads in Java and deported to Singapore. He was suspected of plotting to bomb Singapore Changi Airport in 2002, and further investigations confirmed that he had initially planned to do so by crashing a plane through the airport.

The detention center that he was being held at is about 5 minutes from where we are living. I hope he isn't hanging around close by. There are so many areas that are totally jungle, he could be hiding out in any of them. A massive manhunt comprising personnel from the Singapore Police Force, the Gurkha Contingent, the Police Tactical Unit and the Police National Service Key Installation Protection Unit were deployed in the vicinity of the area immediately after the escape. They were later aided by members of the Singapore Guards, before the operation was wound down over 17 hours later without success in locating the fugitive, who was believed to be unarmed. Last week we had to go up to daughter no. 2's school which is near the north island bridge that goes to Malaysia. Traffic was so backed up due to the extra security at the immigration check point. I think all inmates should be injected with some sort of tiny GPS tracking device (while they are unconscious so they don't know where it was injected - or that they were injected).

To help all of us help those searching for Selamat, we have been given the following card to keep in our wallets:

Wanted posters of Mas Selamat were put up in shopping centers, bus and train stations islandwide to appeal for the public to inform Police should they spot him, and leaflets given out by volunteers to members of the Public. All mobile phone service providers in Singapore sent out free Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS) messages on 1 March 2008 to all 5.5 million subscribers (none of us got the MMS message) with Mas Selamat's photograph.

Why We are Working Here in Singapore

You know some of the benefits for working overseas in our industry are as follows:

1. I think something like $84,000 of your income for the year is tax exempt;


2. You get $50 per day per diem


3. Your housing, utilites and car are paid for.

All of this allows us to save up for our dream home for when we return to Texas:

Zero Tolerance Speed Cameras

With the Texas highway death toll continuing to increase, this will be the first year that Zero Tolerance Speed Cameras will be used. The new cameras look different from the normal cameras. I have included a photo so that you are familiar with them. Make sure you do not speed when approaching one Please take this warning seriously as you will not get a second chance.

Thank you Ricky for supplying the topic for today's post!

Five Minute Management Course

My hubby sent me these in an email. You may have seen them before, but I thought they were pretty good:

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5 :
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Things that make you go huh?

Well there are somethings they got right here in Singapore. Such as the yellow striped areas on the road that keep exits from side streets and such open so traffic will stop and you can exit without taking your life into your own hands. The little electronic devices and cash cards that you use for parking and the roadway tolls, those are smart. You go to 7-11 and top them off with money. If there is no money on the card - no parking. Simple. No billing required either. I think the Harris County Toll Road people could use a lesson in that. Anyway...then you have the things they just don't get. For example...Sunday we went to the Singapore Air Show. I bought our tickets online and printed out our etickets. The package I bought included parking. We get in the car on Sunday to go and for some reason I was reading the teeny-tiny, very small, fine print on our eticket which read: If you are driving to the airshow you are required to have a valid Singapore Airshow 2008 car park label." Please visit our website for more information. My first thought was that one of the pieces of paper that I printed for the eticket must be what they are talking about. On it it said "4 Airshow Adm Plus Parking". But something about the word "label" bugged me. So before we took off I got my iphone out and looked at the webpage for more information on this parking thing. At the bottom of the page where you click to Purchase Your Tickets (the button for this is at the top of the pate) it read:

If you intend to drive to the exhibition site, you are REQUIRED to have a VALID car park label. You can purchase a Family Package at S$100 which includes 4 admission tickets (which can be used as adult and/or child admissions) and 1 car park label. After purchasing the Family Package online, please PRINT your car park e-Voucher and PRESENT it at the following SINGPOST offices to collect your car park label.
• Singapore Post Centre: 10 Eunos Road 8, West Entrance Level 1, #01-02, Singapore Post Centre, Singapore 408600. Open from Monday to Friday (8.30am to 9.00pm), Saturday (8.30am to 4.00pm) and Sunday and Public Holidays (10am to 4.00pm)
• Suntec City Post Office: 3 Temasek Boulevard, #03-001/003, Suntec City Mall, Singapore 038983. Open from Monday to Friday (9.30am to 6.00pm), Saturday (9.30am to 2.00pm) and closed on Sunday and Public Holidays.
• Tanglin Post Office: 56 Tanglin Road, Singapore 247964. Open from Monday to Friday (8.30am – 5.00pm), Saturday (8.30am – 1.00pm) and closed on Sunday and Public Holidays.
• Orchard Post Office: 391 Orchard Road, #04-15, Ngee Ann City, Singapore 238872. Open from Monday to Friday (9.30am – 6.00pm), Saturday (9.30am – 2.00pm) and closed on Sunday and Public Holidays.

Notice only one location is open on Sundays. So, good thing I read the FINE PRINT! Why couldn't they just include a parking pass in the stuff I printed out with the e-ticket??? At least they could have made it more noticeable that even though you think you are saving time by purchasing an e-ticket, they still are going to make you go wait in line somewhere (oops! my bad - Que Up at the Post Office)!! So, we go to the Post Office. I wait in a long line noticing that there are a few others in front of me there to pick up their Parking Labels too. When I FINALLY get to the last row of the line that is snakeing back and forth a lady behind the desk holds up a sheet of paper like mine and says "Anyone here waiting to collect Air Show Parking Labels can go to the Speed Post Counter"! I had been waiting for about 20 minutes already! At least there wasn't a line at the Speed Post counter but several yahoos that had just walked in the door was first in line! That is another pet-peeve I'll save for another day!

Maldives Trip Photos

Maldives Trip

Well, all our family and friends that we sent postcards too from our trip to the Malives finally received them. It only took about 8 weeks for their postcards to arrive from the time we mailed them. Anyway, that reminded me that maybe I should put some pictures from our trip on here.

In election 2008, don’t forget Angry White Man

More From Aspen Times Weekly Opinion
Gary HubbellFebruary 9, 2008
There is a great amount of interest in this year’s presidential elections, as everybody seems to recognize that our next president has to be a lot better than George Bush. The Democrats are riding high with two groundbreaking candidates — a woman and an African-American — while the conservative Republicans are in a quandary about their party’s nod to a quasi-liberal maverick, John McCain.
Each candidate is carefully pandering to a smorgasbord of special-interest groups, ranging from gay, lesbian and transgender people to children of illegal immigrants to working mothers to evangelical Christians.
There is one group no one has recognized, and it is the group that will decide the election: the Angry White Man. The Angry White Man comes from all economic backgrounds, from dirt-poor to filthy rich. He represents all geographic areas in America, from urban sophisticate to rural redneck, deep South to mountain West, left Coast to Eastern Seaboard.
His common traits are that he isn’t looking for anything from anyone — just the promise to be able to make his own way on a level playing field. In many cases, he is an independent businessman and employs several people. He pays more than his share of taxes and works hard.
The victimhood syndrome buzzwords — “disenfranchised,” “marginalized” and “voiceless” — don’t resonate with him. “Press ‘one’ for English” is a curse-word to him. He’s used to picking up the tab, whether it’s the company Christmas party, three sets of braces, three college educations or a beautiful wedding.
He believes the Constitution is to be interpreted literally, not as a “living document” open to the whims and vagaries of a panel of judges who have never worked an honest day in their lives. The Angry White Man owns firearms, and he’s willing to pick up a gun to defend his home and his country. He is willing to lay down his life to defend the freedom and safety of others, and the thought of killing someone who needs killing really doesn’t bother him.
The Angry White Man is not a metrosexual, a homosexual or a victim. Nobody like him drowned in Hurricane Katrina — he got his people together and got the hell out, then went back in to rescue those too helpless and stupid to help themselves, often as a police officer, a National Guard soldier or a volunteer firefighter.
His last name and religion don’t matter. His background might be Italian, English, Polish, German, Slavic, Irish, or Russian, and he might have Cherokee, Mexican, or Puerto Rican mixed in, but he considers himself a white American.
He’s a man’s man, the kind of guy who likes to play poker, watch football, hunt white-tailed deer, call turkeys, play golf, spend a few bucks at a strip club once in a blue moon, change his own oil and build things. He coaches baseball, soccer and football teams and doesn’t ask for a penny. He’s the kind of guy who can put an addition on his house with a couple of friends, drill an oil well, weld a new bumper for his truck, design a factory and publish books. He can fill a train with 100,000 tons of coal and get it to the power plant on time so that you keep the lights on and never know what it took to flip that light switch.
Women either love him or hate him, but they know he’s a man, not a dishrag. If they’re looking for someone to walk all over, they’ve got the wrong guy. He stands up straight, opens doors for women and says “Yes, sir” and “No, ma’am.”
He might be a Republican and he might be a Democrat; he might be a Libertarian or a Green. He knows that his wife is more emotional than rational, and he guides the family in a rational manner.
He’s not a racist, but he is annoyed and disappointed when people of certain backgrounds exhibit behavior that typifies the worst stereotypes of their race. He’s willing to give everybody a fair chance if they work hard, play by the rules and learn English.
Most important, the Angry White Man is pissed off. When his job site becomes flooded with illegal workers who don’t pay taxes and his wages drop like a stone, he gets righteously angry. When his job gets shipped overseas, and he has to speak to some incomprehensible idiot in India for tech support, he simmers. When Al Sharpton comes on TV, leading some rally for reparations for slavery or some such nonsense, he bites his tongue and he remembers. When a child gets charged with carrying a concealed weapon for mistakenly bringing a penknife to school, he takes note of who the local idiots are in education and law enforcement.
He also votes, and the Angry White Man loathes Hillary Clinton. Her voice reminds him of a shovel scraping a rock. He recoils at the mere sight of her on television. Her very image disgusts him, and he cannot fathom why anyone would want her as their leader. It’s not that she is a woman. It’s that she is who she is. It’s the liberal victim groups she panders to, the “poor me” attitude that she represents, her inability to give a straight answer to an honest question, his tax dollars that she wants to give to people who refuse to do anything for themselves.
There are many millions of Angry White Men. Four million Angry White Men are members of the National Rifle Association, and all of them will vote against Hillary Clinton, just as the great majority of them voted for George Bush.
He hopes that she will be the Democratic nominee for president in 2008, and he will make sure that she gets beaten like a drum.
Gary Hubbell is a regular columnist with the Aspen Times Weekly.

One of the best articles I have ever read! Someone finally got it right!!

Nothing new

Kinda preoccupied today. Our dog Sugar is sick. She spent the night last night at the animal hospital. They released her to me today and I took her to our usual vet. They said she is anemic and since there had been blood in her poop and in her vomit they need to figure out what was the cause. So they kept her and are putting her back on an IV for fluids and are going to run blood tests. They said that it could be cause by a tick, or perhaps she ate some sort of poison. I doubt that it was poison since she stays inside and we don't keep anything like that around. She had been to her doggie-day care on Monday. That is when I noticed she wasn't herself. The vet told me that there was one dog for sure, maybe two, that had picked up a viral infection from there that they had treated. Anyway, when I asked if the vet thought Sugar would be ok, she said she would consider her condition as 'guarded'. I hope they can find out what it is quickly and get her feeling better soon. (The photo was taken when we first got her. Now she has all her "Pomeranian fur")

A Child's Insight

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you:

Better to be safe than.....................Punch a 5th grader
Strike while the ..........................Bug is close
It's always darkest before.................Daylight Savings Time
Never underestimate the power of...........Termites
You can lead a horse to water but..........how?
Don't bite the hand that...................looks dirty
No news is.................................impossible
A miss is as good as a.....................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new.............math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll..........stink in the morning
Love all, trust............................me
The pen is mightier than the...............pigs
An idle mind is............................The best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's................pollution
Happy the bride who........................gets all the presents
A penny saved is...........................not much
Two's company, three's.....................the Musketeers
Don't put off till tomorrow what...........you put on to go to bed
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and......you have to blow your nose
None are so blind as.......................Stevie Wonder
Children should be seen and not............spanked or grounded
If at first you don't succeed..............get new batteries
You get out of something what you..........see pictured on the box
When the blind leadeth the blind...........get out of the way

And what might be best of all:

Better late than...................................pregnant