Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Good Engrish
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Aggie Parking Lot
Hubby emailed me this joke and I thought I would post it in honor of our own Aggie that is about to graduate:
An Aggie from Texas walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Bakersfield on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Aggie handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Aggie produced the title and everything checked out.
The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at
the dumb ol Aggie from the south for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Aggie returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The Aggie replied, 'Where else in New York City, can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?'
GIG 'EM WHOOOOP!
An Aggie from Texas walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Bakersfield on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Aggie handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Aggie produced the title and everything checked out.
The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at
the dumb ol Aggie from the south for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Aggie returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The Aggie replied, 'Where else in New York City, can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?'
GIG 'EM WHOOOOP!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Cancel your credit cards before you die
Now some people are really stupid!!!! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. Reminds me of a conversation I had with HSBC bank here a week or two ago. Only difference is you have to go through your whole life history with EVERY person you talk to. I was about to pull my hair out. Wish I could have come up with a great 'come back' like at the end of this post.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange :
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank : 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member : 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member : 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )
After they get the fax :
Citibank : 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank : 'That might help.'
Family Member : ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member : 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange :
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank : 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member : 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member : 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member : 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )
After they get the fax :
Citibank : 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank : 'That might help.'
Family Member : ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member : 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???
Monday, March 03, 2008
Why We are Working Here in Singapore
You know some of the benefits for working overseas in our industry are as follows:
- I think something like $84,000 of your income for the year is tax exempt;
- You get $50 per day per diem
- Your housing, utilites and car are paid for.
All of this allows us to save up for our dream home for when we return to Texas:
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Zero Tolerance Speed Cameras
With the Texas highway death toll continuing to increase, this will be the first year that Zero Tolerance Speed Cameras will be used. The new cameras look different from the normal cameras. I have included a photo so that you are familiar with them. Make sure you do not speed when approaching one Please take this warning seriously as you will not get a second chance.
Thank you Ricky for supplying the topic for today's post!
Thank you Ricky for supplying the topic for today's post!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Five Minute Management Course
My hubby sent me these in an email. You may have seen them before, but I thought they were pretty good:
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5 :
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5 :
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Monday, February 18, 2008
A Child's Insight
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you:
Better to be safe than.....................Punch a 5th grader
Strike while the ..........................Bug is close
It's always darkest before.................Daylight Savings Time
Never underestimate the power of...........Termites
You can lead a horse to water but..........how?
Don't bite the hand that...................looks dirty
No news is.................................impossible
A miss is as good as a.....................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new.............math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll..........stink in the morning
Love all, trust............................me
The pen is mightier than the...............pigs
An idle mind is............................The best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's................pollution
Happy the bride who........................gets all the presents
A penny saved is...........................not much
Two's company, three's.....................the Musketeers
Don't put off till tomorrow what...........you put on to go to bed
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and......you have to blow your nose
None are so blind as.......................Stevie Wonder
Children should be seen and not............spanked or grounded
If at first you don't succeed..............get new batteries
You get out of something what you..........see pictured on the box
When the blind leadeth the blind...........get out of the way
And what might be best of all:
Better late than...................................pregnant
Better to be safe than.....................Punch a 5th grader
Strike while the ..........................Bug is close
It's always darkest before.................Daylight Savings Time
Never underestimate the power of...........Termites
You can lead a horse to water but..........how?
Don't bite the hand that...................looks dirty
No news is.................................impossible
A miss is as good as a.....................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new.............math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll..........stink in the morning
Love all, trust............................me
The pen is mightier than the...............pigs
An idle mind is............................The best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's................pollution
Happy the bride who........................gets all the presents
A penny saved is...........................not much
Two's company, three's.....................the Musketeers
Don't put off till tomorrow what...........you put on to go to bed
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and......you have to blow your nose
None are so blind as.......................Stevie Wonder
Children should be seen and not............spanked or grounded
If at first you don't succeed..............get new batteries
You get out of something what you..........see pictured on the box
When the blind leadeth the blind...........get out of the way
And what might be best of all:
Better late than...................................pregnant
Friday, December 21, 2007
Christmas Cartoons
Here are some Christmas funnies you may have seen, but I wanted to share anyway. Mostly because I thought they were cute, but secondly because I am super busy and this is an easy way for me to post something today.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Fun at Wal-Mart
Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:
Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis Walmarts, how can I help you?'
Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'
Walmart Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'
Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.
Thank you Scott for supplying me with today's post content!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Who Doesn't Love 1977
Thank you Barbara for supplying me with subject matter for today's blog post. It has been a while since I've updated this thing! Sorry about that. Anyway...Barbara sent me this email with all the great pictures from the 1977 JC Penney catalog. I wanted to post them all, but here are a few of my favorites:
I think I've found my next dining room set which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels.
I think my brother had this same outfit! The email read: How to get your ass kicked in elementary school! Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place.. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.
The email read: How to get your ass kicked on the golf course! This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.
The email read: Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?
The rest were all hillarious! Maybe tomorrow I'll post some more.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
More Work Humor...
Dear Staff,
In an effort to maximize productivity in our department I will be implementing a tool used in many industries. You will be tracking your time working on certain activities and sending me a time sheet weekly showing me how your time has been spent. Attached below is a sheet specifying a job code list based on some observations of employee activities. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let me know about any difficulties you encounter.
Thank you. Your boss.
Code
Number Explanation
------ -----------
5316 - Useless Meeting
5317 - Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 - Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in a Meeting
5319 - Waiting for Break
5320 - Waiting for Lunch
5321 - Waiting for End of Day
5322 - Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 - Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
5393 - Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5394 - Blaming Incompetence of Coworker Who is Not a Friend
5400 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 - Buying Snack
5482 - Eating Snack
5500 - Filling Out Timesheet
5501 - Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 - Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 - Scratching Yourself
5504 - Sleeping
5510 - Feeling Bored
5600 - Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 - Complaining About Low Pay
5602 - Complaining About Long Hours
5603 - Complaining About Coworker (See Codes 5322 & 5323)
5604 - Complaining About Boss
5605 - Complaining About Personal Problems
5640 - Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 - Not Actually Present At Job
5702 - Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
6102 - Ordering Out
6103 - Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 - Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 - Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 - Stealing Company Goods
6202 - Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Files
6203 - Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204 - Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 - Hiding from Boss
6206 - Gossip
6207 - Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 - Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6211 - Updating Resume
6212 - Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
6213 - Out of Office on Interview
6221 - Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 - Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 - Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 - Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
6238 - Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350 - Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601 - Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code 6603)
6602 - Complaining
6603 - Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 - Staring Into Space
6612 - Staring At Computer Screen
6615 - Transcendental Meditation
7281 - Extended Visit to the Bathroom (over 10 minutes)
7400 - Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401 - Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402 - Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403 - Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404 - Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405 - Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406 - Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419 - Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professionals on Phone
7931 - Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000 - Recreational Drug Use
8001 - Non-recreational Drug Use
8002 - Liquid Lunch
8101 - Surfing Vacation Sites on the Internet
8102 - Surfing Porn Sites on the Internet
8103 - Surfing Humor Sites on the Internet
8200 - Reading e-mail
8201 - Distributing humorous e-mails
In an effort to maximize productivity in our department I will be implementing a tool used in many industries. You will be tracking your time working on certain activities and sending me a time sheet weekly showing me how your time has been spent. Attached below is a sheet specifying a job code list based on some observations of employee activities. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let me know about any difficulties you encounter.
Thank you. Your boss.
Code
Number Explanation
------ -----------
5316 - Useless Meeting
5317 - Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 - Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in a Meeting
5319 - Waiting for Break
5320 - Waiting for Lunch
5321 - Waiting for End of Day
5322 - Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 - Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
5393 - Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5394 - Blaming Incompetence of Coworker Who is Not a Friend
5400 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 - Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 - Buying Snack
5482 - Eating Snack
5500 - Filling Out Timesheet
5501 - Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 - Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 - Scratching Yourself
5504 - Sleeping
5510 - Feeling Bored
5600 - Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 - Complaining About Low Pay
5602 - Complaining About Long Hours
5603 - Complaining About Coworker (See Codes 5322 & 5323)
5604 - Complaining About Boss
5605 - Complaining About Personal Problems
5640 - Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 - Not Actually Present At Job
5702 - Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
6102 - Ordering Out
6103 - Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 - Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 - Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 - Stealing Company Goods
6202 - Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Files
6203 - Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204 - Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 - Hiding from Boss
6206 - Gossip
6207 - Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 - Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6211 - Updating Resume
6212 - Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
6213 - Out of Office on Interview
6221 - Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 - Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 - Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 - Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
6238 - Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350 - Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601 - Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code 6603)
6602 - Complaining
6603 - Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 - Staring Into Space
6612 - Staring At Computer Screen
6615 - Transcendental Meditation
7281 - Extended Visit to the Bathroom (over 10 minutes)
7400 - Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401 - Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402 - Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403 - Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404 - Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405 - Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406 - Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419 - Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professionals on Phone
7931 - Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000 - Recreational Drug Use
8001 - Non-recreational Drug Use
8002 - Liquid Lunch
8101 - Surfing Vacation Sites on the Internet
8102 - Surfing Porn Sites on the Internet
8103 - Surfing Humor Sites on the Internet
8200 - Reading e-mail
8201 - Distributing humorous e-mails
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- TexasGal
- We are back in Texas now. Enjoying life in the same small town I went to High School & College in.
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